My friend just told me that she is lack toast and tolerant. She is also a blonde.
Stanky Legg - GS Boyz
Stupid dance, performed mostly by tools who think it’s the shit. Give it 6 months max before everyone realizes how moronic it is, if it’s not outright forgotten because of the hype of the next shitty-ass throw-away dance move - the kind that will embarass your children in 20 years.
The coolest unsubscribe page I’ve ever seen (from groupon.com) (via @peterc)
I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever I think copy & paste is the greatest invention ever
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer.
It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent
the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
diet…Faggot.
2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer— it
grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about
how you call a dog… ‘Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here,
Killer!’ Now think about how you call a cat…’Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!’ Jeeezus, you’re pitched, you’re so queer.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ
ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits.
Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom
or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s
world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you’re as camp as a row
of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a ‘Decaf Soy Latte’.
If you’ve put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you’ve had a man there too.
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different
types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing
out free ass passes. A real man doesn’t have memory space in his brain to
remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a
‘fressier’ is; you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other
than cotton or denim, you are poofter.
7. If you d rive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to
tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a
slow-ass driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that
hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
